Shelly

Shelly’s Poem  by Lauren Bland

 

Mummy’s looking tired still

She says she can’t sleep

I know how she feels at night

I don’t make a peep

 

It’s always late when the car arrives

But I hear it every time:

The slam of the door, the drunken slurr;

It’s seared into my mind

 

Suddenly my heart starts to race as the keys turn

in the front door – so scary

Have to breath real slow, real low, quiet too –

pretending I’m asleep already

 

Foot steps on the stairs, I can tell where he is by the creak

That marks the seventh step from my door

Time to squeeze my eyes tight, hug my teddy closer, try hard

Not to shiver – time to put on the show.

 

He’ll open that door again tonight, like the nights before,

Look in and whisper to me

"Baby? You awake?" then listen hard for an answer.

Maybe I’ll roll over, so he can’t see

 

My teeth chattering, my nose flare.

Or maybe sigh, or snore.

Sometimes he catches me out though,

He’s done it twice before.

 

Sandra showed me how to sleep

So dad didn’t come in

She said the things he’d done

To us was such a sin

 

But I hope one day

Mummy will see

I know she’s awake –

She’ll rescue me

 

But tonight, Daddy,

Please do not

Come to me, Daddy,

It’s too hot

 

It’s not Like you said.

It hurts me.

I don’t want you to

play with me…